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“What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. … In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportsmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.”
~ John Lubbock, The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in
I had a difficult night last night.
Yesterday, unexpectedly, the face of a client popped into my head. I haven’t worked with her for years, although I see her name in my facebook feed sometimes.
I didn’t think anything of it until I went to bed. I was dog-tired last night, so I did my healing meditation sitting up in bed with pillows propped behind me.
Meditation was easy, and I moved deeply into a place I sometimes go to. Perhaps because I was so tired. I’m not really sure.
Anyway, in this meditation I soon found myself looking at this woman’s face again. A terrible knowing came over me. I saw cancer, profoundly and silently ravaging her body. A cancer that can only be found too late. Because it’s too late. There is nothing now that can be done.
All this woman feels is tired, and fat. Her belly bothers her with its bloating. She’s always bone weary. Everything in life seems suddenly difficult for her, so she is also heavily into self-criticism and pushing herself harder. There is no joy in her life, such is her fatigue. There is only struggle.
I came out of meditation filled with the deepest sadness. Sadness for this woman whose life will end so much sooner than she currently knows. Sadness for the lack of love she extends to herself, and for a society that demands so much of us – that we must constantly flog ourselves because there is no time to rest and never enough money for that luxury. Sadness because I have nothing good to tell her.
I was shown this for a reason.
I’m heavy-hearted today. I know I will have to contact this woman, and find a way to tell her what I can see. I hate that I will have to do this.
I know that I have to do this.
She needs to know. She would want to know. She has been asking God and her Angels to tell her what’s wrong with her. She’s been pleading with the Universe in quiet moments.
It’s better to know than not know. We make better, truer choices in the face of such gravity. We spend time on what matters and stop worrying about the things that falsely garnered such importance prior to knowing our mortality and a deadline.
Spare a thought for this woman and her family today. Send them love and all the courage and good energy you can muster.
